Disclaimer: apologies if you are already a man of the ‘listening’ variety. And congratulations. Do you realise you could make millions from offering training in this skill?
I never thought ‘listening’ would top my list of attractive qualities in a man. Looks, important. Wealth, why not? Humour, most definitely. But listening?
‘Oh yes,’ says fashionista friend. ‘Being listened to is the biggest turn-on.’ Very talented stylist friend nods her head.
So, it’s not just me then.
I sense this is a sign of maturity. Of growing up. Of leaving behind the hedonistic days of infatuation, chandelier swinging moments and weekend lie-ins. Because once you take those away what are you left with? It’s all about the conversation really, isn’t it? And showing interest in one another. In having someone show an interest in you.
Once you’ve had children, listening is all you talk about. Indeed, ‘good listening,’ is one of the most important rules in our house. Alongside dry pants. You can do pretty much anything else as long as you listen in clean knickers. Seriously.
Yes, we mention the importance of listening at least five times a day. It’s the eleventh commandment. But I don’t think we’re actually very good at it ourselves.
Without pointing fingers, Daddy Pig’s listening skills could do with a little honing. I know when he’s not listening. It’s usually when Top Gear is on. He doesn’t divert his gaze and he nods his head without having a clue what he has just agreed to. Then he gets a little nervous when I ask him what I’ve just said. Like he’s about to fail a test.
Sometimes it happens when the TV’s off. And on these occasions I wonder whether I need some sort of alarm system to draw attention to myself. Or maybe he’s just changed his name without telling me and that’s why he’s ignoring me. Perhaps one of those spangly belly dancing outfits would do it. If not for the visual effect, then at least the jingly noise. Although I’d possibly still need some sort of P.A. system.
The question is, do men realise that listening is such a turn-on for us women? That it’s really that simple to make us happy? We don’t care (all that much) about fast cars, diamonds or wining and dining. All we actually want is something that doesn’t cost a penny.
I suspect not.
If they did, I’m sure that’s ALL they’d be doing. Hanging on our every word.
If only to increase the possibility of swinging from a chandelier.
Surviving Motherhood Tip#3 – how to get your partner to listen to you
- Get his full attention (whatever it takes)
- Set aside time to talk, over a glass of wine or dinner
- Don’t try and talk whilst the TV’s on or putting out the washing
- Put away ALL iPhones/iPads!
- Warm-up the conversation with a question (not an interrogative one – ‘Where were you last night?’)
- If all else fails and he’s still not responding, be directive and show him the chandelier
Picture courtesy of http://jokeallucan.blogspot.co.uk/