So, Facebook has turned 10.
And this morning I logged on to find a million film premieres. Yes, all your wonderful Facebook ‘lookback’ movies. And I was privileged to be on the red carpet for each and every one.
I’ve seen the most treasured moments in my friends’ lives. Their weddings. The births of their children. Special moments shared with friends.
Naturally, I couldn’t wait to do mine. And they’ve made it so easy. Just one click and hey presto!
So I clicked on the link and I waited for the last 10 years of my life to flash before my eyes. What notable highlights would Facebook select for me, I wondered.
I even changed my profile picture so the scary Blair Witchesque portrait Beaver drew of me wouldn’t be staring back.
Well, I needn’t have worried about that. Nope.
Because, my 10 year highlights are apparently a plate of food and lots of cats. Yes, according to Facebook, I am the crazy cat lady who likes eating. The fact that my friends used to joke this would be my destiny isn’t even funny.
Now, I know I don’t lead the most exciting life but seriously, is this really all I have to show for the past 10 years?
Then I had an idea.
I deleted the offending photos of the plate of food and the cats. By the way, there weren’t actually that many cat photos just in case you’re thinking I’m some sort of fluffy pet picture addict.
That will do it, I thought.
But no, now when I click on the link, I have no movie whatsoever. It seems that I am indeed nothing without the food and the cats.
Still, I’ve learned a valuable lesson. I’m going to watch what pictures I share on Facebook in future. Cue lots of pictures of me having a fabulous, debaucherous time. I reckon I’ve got at least another 10 years until Facebook do this again to show how much fun I’m capable of having.
And rest assured Facebook, next time, there won’t be a sodding cat in sight.
Footnote: if you’d like to create your own ‘lookback’ movie click https://facebook.com/lookback/. Just edit your photos first. And bin any pictures of cats or dinner porn. Because even if you’ve just got the one, Facebook WILL find it. You’ve been warned.