The UK holiday starts here.
We’re on the motorway. It’s raining. Actually make that pouring. The traffic is horrendous and we’re still on the M25 after one and a half hours.
Beaver and Godivy have eaten all our snacks in the first 30 minutes. So Daddy Pig and I are sharing a stale Dairy Milk bar. So stale it tastes more like a Flake. Or an Aero. I need the toilet. So did Beaver, except she couldn’t wait so we’ve just done a picnic wee on the hard shoulder.
I have forgotten a lot. Because in contrast to my military precision packing for Turkey in June, this time round, to be frank I just couldn’t be bothered.
In the order that I’ve remembered I’ve forgotten it, here’s the list so far. Coat (mine). Nail scissors. Armbands. Godivy’s bib. Beaver’s sunhat (not that it looks as though that’s going to be missed). My bikini (ditto). Actually, I packed the bottoms just not the top. Handy. Activities for the car. Aside from eating ALL the snacks.
‘Have you remembered the kids?’ asks my mum.
This is the thing about holidaying in the UK. You’re just a bit more relaxed about it. Slack, in my case. You console yourself with the fact that you can buy anything you forget to take. So you do just that. Forget everything. And then spend half of your holiday in Boots and the other half in Tesco. Yippee.
If we hadn’t passed the Gatwick turn-off, I’d be tempted to take a detour and just turn up and try our luck. But miraculously we’ve made it to Cobham and instead we are debating stopping for a McDonalds. Just to really immerse ourselves in the holiday spirit. Even Beaver has asked why it’s such a dreadful day.
There are a few consolations.
Firstly, I have my new iPad mini with keyboard so I can blog whilst we crawl the M25. It doesn’t have 3G though and it’s just tried to sync up with some guy’s mobile in the land rover next to us. I’m not sure what the implications of that are. Anyone know?
Secondly, the traffic is so bad, it’s put paid to a trip en route to Peppa Pig World, which Daddy Pig was dreading. Rather ironically considering it’s the Motherland.
Finally and most importantly there is a litre of gin in the boot. In case things get really dire. Or we’re still on the M25 this time next week.
All in all, you just gotta love a UK holiday.
Surviving Motherhood Tip#10 – how to holiday in the UK
- 1. Pack a coat.
2. Pack a car picnic. A big one.
3. Take gin. 1 litre minimum