Here’s to growing older gracefully. By which I mean in complete and utter denial. Obviously. Here’s 10 signs to look out for.
- People you know keep inviting you to their 40ths and you’re like, ‘Who ARE these old gits? I’m still 23…’
- You have all these kids around you and no memory of how they got there.
- You have no memory of most things.
- You drive over a new road surface and not only notice it but actually comment ALOUD how nice and smooth it is.
- You change your hairstyle for the first time in 20 years.
- You NEVER get ID’d anymore and the Tesco cashier hits the ‘Clearly over 25’ box without even looking at you. How rude.
- You wear a dungaree dress and the Tesco cashier STILL hits the ‘Clearly over 25’ box.
- Your dentist asks you if you want a shot of Botox, ‘Whilst he’s there.’
- Your junk emails suddenly go from ‘Wanna hot sex with me?‘ to emails about ‘buying life insurance for parents‘ and ‘10 reasons why you need life insurance RIGHT THIS MINUTE.’
- It takes you between 3 and 15 days to get over a hangover. Which is just rubbish because numbers 1-9 mean that, these days, you need to drink more than ever.
You can also follow me on Facebook. Twitter. And Instagram. If you really want to see how the 23 year olds are wearing dungarees… ahem.