10 lies I tell my kids…

When you’re a parent, lying is par for the course.  It’s essential actually.  If you stand any chance of survival. Here are 10 lies I tell my kids.  Sorry, ‘fibs’…

  1. ‘Oh no.  There’s none left.’  I use this whenever they ask for anything that I do not want to give them.  Which is pretty much everything.
  2. ‘If you don’t do that immediately, I’m calling your headteacher.’  Even if I had Mrs T’s telephone number, I’m hardly about to call her and highlight what an ineffectual mother I actually am.
  3. ‘If you keep picking your toenails, your toes will turn black and fall off.’  This might in fact be true, I have no idea.  But given the non-effect it has on my kids, I would say not.
  4. ‘Nope.  It doesn’t work.  We’ll have to get Daddy to fix it.’  I say this about anything that requires batteries.  Because battery operated toys are the spawn of the devil.
  5. ‘If you eat any more sweets all your teeth will fall out and no one will want to marry you.’  I don’t actually consider this a lie because I think most people like their other half to have at least one or two teeth.
  6. ‘I promise we’ll do that tomorrow.’  Said with absolutely no intention whatsoever.  
  7. ‘Here’s a pound.’  Handing over a 10p piece.
  8. ‘Your favourite nightie/jumper/dress is in the wash.  You can have it tomorrow.’  It’s actually nowhere near the wash.  It’s at the bottom of a pile so high you’ll be lucky if you see it before Christmas.
  9. ‘I did NOT put your drawings in the recycling bin.  I have absolutely no idea how they got there.’  Said with best poker face, whilst motioning towards Daddy…
  10. ‘Come on.  It’s way past your bedtime.  It’s almost 8.00 PM!’  Dreading the moment they can tell the time and realise it’s still only 6.30 PM.


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    6 thoughts on “10 lies I tell my kids…

    1. suzanne3childrenandit

      Yep, I still use daddy as the chief putting things in the recycling bin person! In fact daddy tends to get the blame for most things in this house….well he shouldn’t be at work so often, should he?!


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