Vodka on your cornflakes. Thinking about booze at 11.00 am. Opening a bottle at midday. Signs of alcoholism? Or signs you’re a parent?
Here are 10 reasons why parents drink…
- Like a bad stand up comedy routine, parenting is best on a two drink minimum.
- Two words. ‘Beer Goggles.’ They don’t only turn ugly mortals into people you’d consider procreating with. But can also transform little critters into charming little angels.
- The Frozen DVD has just been released and some well-meaning a-hole has bought a copy for your child. No, you don’t want to build a sodding snowman. It’s April.
- You’re still making up for nine months of abstinence. Multiplied by the number of kids you have. That’s a lot of Pinot Grigio to catch up on.
- It’s cheaper than therapy.
- It reminds you you’re actually an adult, which can be difficult when you’re immersed in Barbie or Spider-Man role play for much of the day.
- Slight inebriation means you are much more convincing whilst doing number 6.
- You’re desperate to reclaim ‘Happy Hour,’ which has been hijacked by a much less happy ‘Bedtime Hour.’
- It induces sleep. Because although you’re the most tired you’ve EVER been, years of looking after newborns has reset your body clock. For the rest of time.
- You’ve run out of Valium.
If you read this post and think ‘YES!’ like Surviving Life and Motherhood on Facebook and join the plight for survival.