10 reasons why parents drink…

Vodka on your cornflakes.  Thinking about booze at 11.00 am.  Opening a bottle at midday.  Signs of alcoholism?  Or signs you’re a parent?

Here are 10 reasons why parents drink…

  1. Like a bad stand up comedy routine, parenting is best on a two drink minimum.
  2. Two words.  ‘Beer Goggles.’  They don’t only turn ugly mortals into people you’d consider procreating with.  But can also transform little critters into charming little angels.
  3. The Frozen DVD has just been released and some well-meaning a-hole has bought a copy for your child.  No, you don’t want to build a sodding snowman. It’s April.
  4. You’re still making up for nine months of abstinence.  Multiplied by the number of kids you have.  That’s a lot of Pinot Grigio to catch up on.
  5. It’s cheaper than therapy.
  6. It reminds you you’re actually an adult, which can be difficult when you’re immersed in Barbie or Spider-Man role play for much of the day.
  7. Slight inebriation means you are much more convincing whilst doing number 6.
  8. You’re desperate to reclaim ‘Happy Hour,’ which has been hijacked by a much less happy ‘Bedtime Hour.’
  9. It induces sleep.  Because although you’re the most tired you’ve EVER been, years of looking after newborns has reset your body clock.  For the rest of time.
  10. You’ve run out of Valium.

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    8 thoughts on “10 reasons why parents drink…

    1. Jennifer Beachey

      I agree to all the above points. It’s not alcohol in our house it is called ‘Mummy Juice’ for wine and ‘Daddy Juice’ for beer. Confused faces when mummy has run out if wine and is now going for the daddy juice with complete disregard for tring to look sophisticated (ie not a wino) and use a glass. Instead mummy is swigging daddy juice straight out of the bottle. However I am now a 2 max mummy. The thought of having a bottle of wine and being woken up (at 2am) with a hangover makes me feel sick even before drinking. You’ve got to thank the little angels for that … Another past passion by the wayside! Xx

      Reply
    2. Paula Reed Nancarrow

      My children are grown and out of the house – but they have grown-up problems now. So I still have a good excuse, right? In fact, I think it’s time for a snort and some beer goggles right now. And a toast to #PoCoLo!

      Reply

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