The 12 Days of Motherhood (best sung loudly)

To get us all into the Christmas spirit and celebrate the launch of The New Mum’s Notebook Advent Calendar (24 days of fabulous gifts with some amazing, exclusive discounts), here’s a modified version of The 12 Days of Christmas. For all you new mums out there. And all us old mums who still remember those first 12 rollercoaster days of motherhood, oh so vividly. Or have completely blocked them out, because, well, we can barely remember what we did yesterday. Best sung to the tune of the original. In public. With lots of people staring at you, wondering what on earth you’re doing. Altogether now, ‘WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? WE’RE SLEEP DEPRIVED, DON’T YOU KNOW?’

On the First Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

On the Second Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
What do I do?
And I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

On the Third Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
Ouch! My boobs hurt.
What do I do?
And I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

On the Fourth Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
Why am I crying?
Ouch! My boobs hurt
What do I do?
And I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

On the Fifth Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
This is full on.
Why am I crying?
Ouch! My boobs hurt
What do I do?
And I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

On the Sixth Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
I can sort of do this.
This is full on.
Why am I crying?
Ouch! My boobs hurt
What do I do?
And I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

On the Seventh Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
When will I sleep?
I can sort of do this.
This is full on.
Why am I crying?
Ouch! My boobs hurt
What do I do?
And I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

On the Eighth Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
I need chocolate cake.
When will I sleep?
I can sort of do this.
This is full on.
Why am I crying?
Ouch! My boobs hurt
What do I do?
And I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

On the Ninth Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
Tell me it gets easier
I need chocolate cake.
When will I sleep?
I can sort of do this.
This is full on.
Why am I crying?
Ouch! My boobs hurt
What do I do?
And I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

On the Tenth Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
My midwife’s signed me off!
Tell me it gets easier
I need chocolate cake.
When will I sleep?
I can sort of do this.
This is full on.
Why am I crying?
Ouch! My boobs hurt
What do I do?
And I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

On the Eleventh Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
It’s ok that I’m knackered
My midwife’s signed me off!
Tell me it gets easier
I need chocolate cake.
When will I sleep?
I can sort of do this.
This is full on.
Why am I crying?
Ouch! My boobs hurt
What do I do?
And I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

On the Twelfth Day of Motherhood a new mum said to me
I can blooming do this.
It’s ok that I’m knackered
My midwife’s signed me off!
Tell me it gets easier
I need chocolate cake.
When will I sleep?
I can sort of do this.
This is full on.
Why am I crying?
Ouch! My boobs hurt
What do I do?
And I’d murder some toast and a cup of tea

(And I said to her, you CAN blooming do this. Keep going new mum. You’re AMAZING. And here’s that well earned toast and a cup of tea.)

Follow me on Instagram to get daily notifications of our Advent Calendar and grab those discounts. We’ve got some REALLY exciting brands and gifts to share with you from small businesses. And don’t forget our very own Notebook! The New Mum’s Notebook is the perfect gift and stocking filler for all mums-to-be and new mums this Christmas. Happy 1st December!

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