You KNOW you’re done having kids when…

By Amy Ransom on October 9, 2015 , 1 Comment

So, are you done?’ ‘Having any more?’ ‘Going for no. 2 / 3 / 4 / 5…?‘ The question that us mothers (and fathers) get asked all the time by well-meaning (nosy) others. But how do you know if you’re done having kids, or not? Here’s a few suggestions…

You’re done having kids when…

  1. You eBay the moses basket with the baby still in it. And only just remember to take her out when the buyer comes to collect.
  2. You’ve hardly seen your other half since circa 2008, when this whole procreation lark started.
  3. Some days, when everyone is saying ‘NO!’ and ‘I DON’T WANNA!’ it’s impossible to see the ‘pros’ in your creations.
  4. The thought of laying off Pinot Grigio for another 9+ months… well, let’s not even go there.
  5. The time has finally come to do other stuff. Like build a Fortune 500 business. (And drink Pinot Grigio.)
  6. People ask you if you’re having any more kids and you look like this11391103_1113236355369988_7714690433550371353_n
  7. You’ve just bought a new pair of trainers. They’re neon. And pretty. So what if you don’t actually run in them?
  8. The sound of a newborn crying brings out the same reaction as that Tubular Bells music from The Exorcist.
  9. Your other half says he would leave you. (‘Not if I get there first,‘ you think.)
  10. Your head says no. Your heart agrees. And your body says NO EFFING WAY!
  11. You can’t bear the thought of another eight years at the school gates. People get less for manslaughter.
  12. Instead of putting a ‘NO JUNK MAIL’ sign on your letterbox, you’ve put up a ‘NO MORE BABIES’ sign. Just in case the stork has any ideas about a surprise delivery.
  13. You’re on the pill. Have a coil. And you’re practising celibacy. To be 100% sure.
  14. You look at your perfectly imperfect family and just know that everyone who’s meant to be there, is.
  15. You have another 317 reasons you could add to this list. Most of which involve Pinot Grigio. And sleep.

You’re not done having kids when…

    1. Your head says, ‘We probably shouldn’t.’ Your body says, ‘I’d rather not.‘ But your heart says, ‘I WANT ANOTHER BABY!

So there you have it. The not so definitive guide to knowing when you’re done. Hope it’s helped. If you have any reasons you’d like to add, please do so below. Let’s see if we can get it up to a round 350, shall we? (There’s more stuff like this on the Facebook page. Come on over.)

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