Who doesn’t enjoy an Easter egg hunt? Running around looking for chocolate? What could be better? FML.
Buy some little eggs. Surprising how many people actually forget to do this. Or totally forget that the ‘odd one’ they ate, watching Netflix, has actually amounted to 341.
Get some nice Easter themed baskets. Then forget where you put them, panic and use an old Tesco bag with a hole in the bottom.
Forget putting up direction signs. You’ve just told your kids they get to run around looking for chocolate. This is not an orienteering exercise. And your kids lost all ability to focus when they heard the word ‘chocolate.’ Running around like headless chickens is the only technique they’ll be using.
Don’t hide different sized eggs. Unless you want to spend the rest of the day listening to, ‘It’s not fair! Why are her eggs bigger than mine?‘
Do hide a few gins in a can. You’ll thank me later when your kids are high on sugar and you’re too drunk to care.
Avoid saying ‘Easter Egg Hunt’ after too many gins in a can. Especially in front of your parroting, newly speaking toddler. You know where I’m going with this one.
Don’t put your Easter Egg Hunt video on Facebook. It’s crap. And we don’t need to see your version of close-up soggy, blurred grass whilst running around with an iPad. Because we’ve got our own. Thanks anyway.
Let your kids eat all the eggs in one go. Why would you want this pain to go on longer than it has to? Why would you want to listen to, ‘Can we just have ONE more?‘ for the next month as you supervise their intake. Let them eat the lot and, who knows, if it makes them sick, maybe they’ll go off chocolate forever. And then next year, you’ll be spared from running around like a loon whilst your childless neighbours look on in envy. (I mean pity.)
Happy Easter! The Easter spirit is alive and kicking in our house. Come and like the Facebook page and tell me how you’ll be doing your Easter Egg Hunt…