After two girls, navigating the world of willies came as something of a surprise. Since then, I’m often asked what differences I’m noticing between boys and the fairer sex. So, here’s what I’ve learned so far.
Boys smell. They really do, it’s not a cliche. Sometimes I think he’s done a poo. But he hasn’t. It’s just this lingering distinct boy odour, like when your other half is ill and festers in bed for a few days. Alas, I fear that cat’s licks are not going to be an option for The Boy with No Name and we are going to have to bath him EVERY day. Eek. Which begs the question, what will we do with the cat?
Boys are simpler. He’s only 10 months old but I can already see this. There’s no deep thought process going on up there. Nothing at all. He sees a ball. He gets the ball. He sucks the ball. Before seeing a truck he prefers the look of. The End. The girls, meanwhile, are plotting their next heist to take over the world, whilst bickering and discussing their feelings… ‘You’ve made me upset now,’ and ‘I’m feeling emotional.’ Arghhhhh!
Boys like their willies. A LOT. From birth. The minute that nappy comes off, down goes the hand. It’s like a reunion between long lost friends. (On the upside, it’s also a great way to get your baby to stay still, once they start crawling. Because there is no limit to the time The Boy with No Name can spend playing with his willy. NO LIMIT, I say.)
Boys are happy for you to do stuff for them. ‘Dress me, feed me, carry me… I don’t need to learn this myself. Especially when you’re enjoying doing it for me SO much.’ Beaver and Godivy, on the other hand, have always been fiercely independent and we will be lottery winners before they even dream of letting me dress them. Which is pretty much why they look like extras out of Oliver most days.
Boys meddle. The Boy with No Name has already discovered cupboards the girls have never even taken notice of. He’s put his head in the oven, worked the microwave (that my mum and sister still can’t figure out) and had a good old look at the grill. In summary? ‘THAT looks like I shouldn’t touch it. So, I will.’
Boys love you with an intensity you’re not prepared for. Those chubby arms around the neck? That nestling under your chin? Those adoring eyes? These boys know how to woo (which may of course be their very own form of manipulation. I’m keeping my eye on it, just in case…)