I’m not a Supermum (to the tune of ‘Superwoman’)

By Amy Ransom on September 25, 2013 , 2 Comments

Since starting the gruelling school routine, I have well and truly decided that I am no Supermum.  So it is time to give back the red boots and gold belt.  And wear an ordinary pair of shoes.

And I suddenly recalled that song, Superwoman, by Karyn White.  Remember it?  Well, here’s how I think it would go if she wrote it now.  Since having children.

I’m not a Supermum.  For all of us struggling with being ‘Back to School.’  Best enjoyed with the original version in the background.

And a glass of wine.

I’m not a Supermum
Every single morning
I put breakfast at the table
And make sure that your porridge
Has it’s honey and fruit.

You say the porridge’s runny
There’s no apple juice
I want to shout and scream ‘who bloody cares?’
But instead I grit my teeth.

I’ve dressed you, done your plaits
Then you tell me you want bunches
And I can’t help but to wonder
If there’s more to life than this.

We’re in a hell of our own making
It’s chaos beyond words
I’ve got no pride, yes I will cry
And I just want to sleep.

I’m not a supermum
I’m not the kind of mum that can do it all
With a smile upon her face
Boy, I am only human
This mum needs more than occasional
Wine just to get herself through the day, ooh, yes

I fought my way through the rush hour
Desperate to make it home just in time
I can’t remember where I’ve left you
Is it after-school club tonight?
When I find you, I ask ‘How was school?’
You say it was great
Even though I left you crying that morning
Outside the school gates.

I think I’m going slightly crazy
I can’t remember my own name
I’m convinced I know the problem
This lifestyle is just insane
We’re just going through the motions
And it’s such a total bind
I’ve got no pride, yes I will cry
Can someone pass me the wine?

I’m not a supermum (Oh, no, no)
I’m not the kind of mum that can do it all
With a smile upon her face
Boy, I am only human (I’m only human)
This mum needs more than occasional
Wine just to get herself through the day, ooh, yes

I’m not a supermum (boo, hoo, hoo, boo, hoo, hoo)
I’m not the kind of mum that can do it all (no)
With a smile upon her face (can’t do it all, can’t do it all)
Boy, I am only human (I’m only human, yeah)
This mum needs more than occasional
Wine just to get herself through the day, ooh, yes

Hurry up
We’re late for school.  Just for a change
Get your shoes on! Coat! The rush is always the same.
You know I’m not a supermum, it’s not my fault
I cannot wait until it’s Saturday and I can pass out.
I’m not a supermum.

I’m not a supermum (Oh, no, oh, no)
I’m not the kind of mum that can do it all
With a smile upon her face
Boy, I am only human (I’m only human)
This mum needs more than occasional
Wine just to get herself through the day, ooh, yes

If you feel the same as me
And you really want to flee
Stop right where you are
Everybody cry along with me
Boo, hoo, hoo, boo, hoo, hoo
Boo, hoo, hoo, boo, hoo, hoo
I’m the kind of mum that is on the cliff edge
And you got to realize that you got to be gentle with me, oh, ho, ho
Boo, hoo, hoo, boo, hoo, hoo
Boo, hoo, hoo, boo, hoo, hoo
I need wine
I need just more wine.

I’m not a supermum (Oh no)
I’m not the kind of mum that can do it all (do it all)
With a smile upon her face
Boy, I am only human (I’m only human)
This mum needs more than occasional (Hey, hey, hey, hey)
Wine just to get herself through the day.

I’m not a supermum.

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