The Duchess is in labour. And I have to admit I’m more than a little bit excited about the #RoyalBaby. Why? Because a new baby always brings hope. And a hefty dose of amnesia. Here’s 10 things you can do whilst we wait.
1. Reminisce wistfully about your own labour(s). Conveniently forgetting a) the extreme pain b) erm, the extreme pain and c) doing a poo in front of your other half.
2. Get broody. Because babies are cute. And that post endorphin high of surviving labour? There’s nothing quite like it. But there are other ways to get it. Like bungee jumping (and not from an umbilical cord). So give yourself a slap around the face and snap out of it. That post endorphin high? It lasts about 24 hours. The sleep deprivation? That lasts forever.
3. Check Twitter, Facebook and Google for updates. Then read the same reports that say exactly the same thing. What are you hoping for? A minute by minute account?
4. Imagine what Kate is going to wear. When she steps out on those steps. And how good her hair is going to look whilst suddenly regretting having yours cut off. Talk about bad timing.
5. Wonder when your own baby got so damn big. Didn’t you just have him yesterday?
6. Ponder if you could have just one more baby. Erm, didn’t we just talk about this? Hands up if you can cope with the kids you’ve got? Yup. Thought so.
7. Come up with baby names. For your unborn, un-conceived child. (OK. You’re on your own now. I’ve said my piece.)
8. Go about your day as normal? Yes, this is an actual possibility. (Whilst checking Facebook and Twitter. Obviously.)
9. Think what it’s like to be the Duchess’ bezzie. And what Kate and Wills will say in that group text announcing the baby’s arrival to their friends. (Yeah, you’ve got a restraining order coming your way.)
10. Drink gin in a can. Because, let’s face it. When is this NOT a good thing to do?