Live your life your way

Put your hands up if you’re tired. Really tired. Tired of not having enough headspace. Tired of all the demands on your time. Tired of small people calling your name. And not even the name you were given. But some generic term called ‘Mummeeee.’ Are you fed up with doing it all at home? Being the strong one? Being perfect? Being selfless. Do you have an overwhelming desire to escape some days? Pack a bag, grab your passport and get on a flight back to your 20s. On an all inclusive package that includes freedom, sanity and wild nights followed by lazy mornings. And a shed load of cocktails. Well guess what, you can. It’s in your power, mostly. Not escaping literally. But mentally. You see, in many ways we’ve made it this way. Our desire for equality. For perfection. To have it all when we know we can’t. It’s our tendency to be overbearing and controlling. Our insistence that if we want it done right, we must do it ourselves. A tendency that multiplies when we bear children. And we’ve got even more on our plates. It’s our bizarre choice to live like this. In motherhood martyrdom. Our edges harden. We forget how to show vulnerability. Even though we still feel it. We lose the ability to finish sentences and conversations. And we communicate less with our partners and pray instead that they’ll read our minds. Why can’t they see what we need? But they aren’t mind-readers. Never have been. Never will be. So we become resentful. And the edges harden more. We’re exhausted from doing it for ourselves. We miss chivalry. We miss being treated like a lady. Being looked after. Having the door held open. Being given a seat on the train just because. We crave love, support and understanding but we don’t always have time to hand it out. And you do reap what you sow. More than anything, we want a bloody good lie-in. So let’s change what we can. Our bizarre choice. Ourselves. Remember what you liked about yourself when you were in your 20s. And re-enact it. Give up the need to be everything to everyone. It’s impossible and it’s unfulfilling. Take a step back and accept you can’t have everything. No one does. Then look at what you really want and ask for it. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. It’s that simple. Tell your partner you love them instead of gritting your teeth. Smile when you feel like frowning. Delegate. Share responsibility. Even if this means installing a big neon sign pointing to the washing machine. And accept that everyone does things differently. There is no right way to make pasta and cheese. Shirk responsibility every now and again. It will do you good. And remind you how many of the demands on your time come only from you. Make time for yourself. Because time won’t make room for you. And this is it. Right now. YOUR LIFE. So live it wisely. Live it happily. Live it your way.

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