Play nice, mums…

By Amy Ransom on February 5, 2015 , 1 Comment

Motherhood. There’s no place for judgement. So, let’s play nice.

I talk about camaraderie amongst mums a fair bit here. It’s the whole anchor of this blog.

Because I believe it’s what gets us through the day. Supporting one another. Being empathetic. Not making each other feel bad. We’re already our own harshest critics. We already think we’re crap a lot of the time. We already feel we’re not quite good enough.

I’ve been made to feel better by the kindness or honesty of another mum so many times that I’ve lost count. Admissions like ‘What?! I don’t bath them EVERY night,’ (or even every other night) make me breathe a sigh of relief. I’m not the only skanky mum. Let’s raise a glass to that.

This is all any of us need. From one another. Because motherhood is the most intense, challenging time of our lives and each and every one of us needs bolstering. Crikey, some days, we need a flipping crane just to get out of bed.

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of parenting stuff about how we should be doing things, particularly with regard to sleeping your baby. I’ve seen mums being judgemental. Unsupportive. Certain that their way is the only way. The problem with this is that trends come and go, research constantly develops and, most relevantly, NO ONE knows your child like you do. It’s never one size fits all.

I firmly believe it’s ok that we all parent in different ways. That we need to be flexible. If there was a right or wrong way, they wouldn’t be called ‘choices’ they’d be called ‘laws.’ So Mums, do what you like. Breastfeed or bottle feed. Practice attachment parenting or controlled crying. Feed your kids Cheerios because you’re late even though you have 10 kilos of porridge in the cupboard. Do a mixture of everything and be gloriously inconsistent. Whatever works for you. And don’t let anyone else make it their business.

Because no one has the right to tell you that you’re doing it wrong. Or make you doubt yourself even more than you doubt yourself already. (Also, it’s not their child, so really why do they even care?)

None of us can ever be totally confident in the choices we make when it comes to raising our kids. We can only do what feels right. At the time. What our instincts tell us. At the time. And each of us will have different instincts. In response to our different kids.

So, let’s play nice mums.

Because hasn’t each of us got enough responsibility messing up our own kids without wanting to f*** up everyone else’s too?

In the spirit of this post, nice comments only please. Share with other mums one encouraging thing that’s helped you on a bad day… #onekindthing. More of this sort of stuff over at Surviving Life and Motherhood.

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