When my kids were tiny babies, I felt marooned in every single, overwhelming moment. I thought this parenting lark would never get easier.
One of those mornings.
This morning was one of those mornings.
You know the ones. Where nothing goes right and everything goes wrong. The kids weren’t listening and we were late for school. I locked myself out of the house. Godivy fell over on the way to school and, because naturally she was wearing a white lace summer dress with knee high Christmas pudding socks, she grazed her knees. There was blood. And tears. And a lot of muttering of FFS under my breath.
I hate these sorts of mornings and I wish I handled them better. But they happen. We survive (somehow).
And life goes on.
And I think I’m actually caring a little less that we are often this chaotic. That I am not the graceful mother I often wish I was. Or the organised person I used to be. The person who would never lock herself out.
Because all this stuff is going to happen. Whether I embrace it. Resist it. Or even remember it.
Someone will spill baked beans all over the floor. Someone will come over for a cuddle.
The pendulum will continue to swing. From chaotic to calm.
In this weird state of equilibrium.
I remember when the kids were babies, how I felt marooned in every single, overwhelming moment.
I thought that particular moment would never, ever end. That I would never get past the sleepless nights. The feeding. Or that paralysing feeling, ‘I just can’t do this all again tomorrow.‘
It felt like my life was defined by whatever overwhelming moment I was in. Forever more.
It was never going to get easier.
The law of parenting.
Except, it did get easier.
Then I had another baby and it got harder again. Then it got easier again. Then I had another baby (will this girl never learn?) and it got harder again. And so forth.
These days, I see chinks of light. Despite the grazed knees, the teething and the growing pains.
There are good days. Bad days. Good moments. Bad moments. And we’re not defined by any of them.
Because that’s just the law of parenting.
So, whatever overwhelming moment you’re currently facing. Remember, it’s just a moment.
Parenting is mopping up baked beans one moment and marvelling at your three year old’s comic tendencies the very next.
There’s no sense to it. There’s no permanence.
It gets easier.
And then, sometimes, it gets hard again.
But then? It gets easier again.
And life goes on.