‘It gets easier…’

When my kids were tiny babies, I felt marooned in every single, overwhelming moment. I thought this parenting lark would never get easier.

One of those mornings.

This morning was one of those mornings.

You know the ones. Where nothing goes right and everything goes wrong. The kids weren’t listening and we were late for school. I locked myself out of the house. Godivy fell over on the way to school and, because naturally she was wearing a white lace summer dress with knee high Christmas pudding socks, she grazed her knees. There was blood. And tears. And a lot of muttering of FFS under my breath.

I hate these sorts of mornings and I wish I handled them better. But they happen. We survive (somehow).

And life goes on.

S*** happens.

And I think I’m actually caring a little less that we are often this chaotic. That I am not the graceful mother I often wish I was. Or the organised person I used to be. The person who would never lock herself out.

Because all this stuff is going to happen. Whether I embrace it. Resist it. Or even remember it.

Someone will spill baked beans all over the floor. Someone will come over for a cuddle.

The pendulum will continue to swing. From chaotic to calm.

In this weird state of equilibrium.

Moments pass.

I remember when the kids were babies, how I felt marooned in every single, overwhelming moment.

I thought that particular moment would never, ever end. That I would never get past the sleepless nights. The feeding. Or that paralysing feeling, ‘I just can’t do this all again tomorrow.

It felt like my life was defined by whatever overwhelming moment I was in. Forever more.

It was never going to get easier.

The law of parenting.

Except, it did get easier.

Then I had another baby and it got harder again. Then it got easier again. Then I had another baby (will this girl never learn?) and it got harder again. And so forth.

These days, I see chinks of light. Despite the grazed knees, the teething and the growing pains.

There are good days. Bad days. Good moments. Bad moments. And we’re not defined by any of them.

Because that’s just the law of parenting.

Keep going.

So, whatever overwhelming moment you’re currently facing. Remember, it’s just a moment.

Parenting is mopping up baked beans one moment and marvelling at your three year old’s comic tendencies the very next.

There’s no sense to it. There’s no permanence.

It gets easier.

And then, sometimes, it gets hard again.

But then? It gets easier again.

And life goes on.

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    7 thoughts on “‘It gets easier…’

    1. Elizabeth Santos | Whole Living

      Love this article! These were the exact words my older sister would say to comfort me when I told her I was feeding two hourly at night with no sleep for weeks! She was right! Junior Santos is now 4.5 months and day by day it IS getting easier… Thanks for reminding me! 🙂

      Reply
    2. Tim

      Totally agree. Parenting is a bit like life in general – not all of it is brilliant but if you can get through the bad moments and savour the good ones, and if the positive outweighs the negative, then you’re doing pretty well. Our biggest enemy is expectations – too many people try to portray their lives as perfect, or worry that somehow their lives should be perfect. And yet traditional wedding vows talk about ‘for better.for worse, for richer, for poorer’ – we don’t expect marriages to be perfect, and yet somehow so many of us fall into the trap of expecting parenting to be.

      Reply
    3. Nell@PigeonPairandMe.com

      You’re right, it does get easier. But, on the other hand, I keep on feeling the need to remind myself of that, even though my two are 6 and 3 now. I suspect when I finally stop needing to say it to myself, I’ll be wishing these days would come back…..

      Reply
    4. Donna

      Being a parent has such a bizarre effect on time ! My dear daughter starts primary school in September & there are all new challenges & amazing moments tripping over each other so fast, yet so slow when its hand wringingly desperate.
      It feels like only yesterday we were bringing her home without the instructions & no one to supervise ! I found my husband weeping in the bathroom asking when life would resume its normality ???? It never has, I am so very glad to say- but in those colicky months it felt like years of sleep deprivation… Looking back now its as if it was yesterday! What else but parenting can be so fantabulously crazy ??

      Reply

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