Being a parent is insane

I had to write this down. Before I forget. Before another five years go by and I forget. Just. How. Insane it sometimes is, being a parent of young kids (of all kids come to that). We manage SO much yet convince ourselves we’re managing nothing at all.

A perfect day.

It hasn’t been a particularly difficult day. But I am EXHAUSTED.

Mondays and Tuesdays are my ‘sanctuary’ days where everyone goes to school and nursery and I do constructive things that I can’t do at any other time, without being interrupted and eventually giving up altogether.

So, naturally, Wednesday is a HUGE shock to the system.

A pint of Prosecco.

I know this. Because on a Monday and Tuesday evening, I don’t want a drink. (Oh. Except for last Monday when I had a glass of wine AND 14 brie bites. It was still Christmas. Sort of.)

But come 5.00 PM on a Wednesday, despite my intention to wait until at least Thursday before cracking open a bottle, I am reaching for anything with an alcoholic content. I’m not saying this to try and be outwardly cool, whilst secretly having a water. I need a drink.

In a ‘I’m a mum of three, not a raging alcoholic’, kind of way.

Silent night.

I don’t help myself, I know.

In the mornings, I get up too late. I don’t get dressed before the kids are up. Or get stuff ready the night before. I stay up late. Writing. Watching Luther. NOT looking at Facebook (haha). Because I desperately need time to be me.

And it’s so blissfully quiet in the evenings when all the kids are in bed.

How can I not take advantage of that?

Playing catch up.

So, our mornings are frantic.

I have around 40 minutes to get me and three kids up, fed and dressed. We are always on the cusp of being late but rarely ‘officially’ late. So it’s almost like I have no incentive to do better. We’re winging it. Just about.

But every morning, when the adrenaline is pumping, my heart is racing and I’m shouting at the kids, I think, ‘Why don’t I just get up earlier? Go to bed earlier? Be more organised?’

I used to be a PA. I’m not lacking in organisational skills.

Except that, these days, I totally am.

Three kids and a dentist.

This evening, we went to the dentist. At 5.30 PM.

Don’t ask me why, but EVERY time we go, they ask me to fill out six forms. SIX FORMS. All with the same details bar my kids’ names and dates of birth. It makes me want to cry and scream at the receptionist, ‘WHY AREN’T YOU COMPUTERISING STUFF LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD?’

Today, all the form filling made us late for our actual appointment.

Could you possibly fill those forms out in the treatment room?’ the nurse asked.

I motioned towards my 18 month old, four year old and six year old who were busy destroying the play area and implied that might be a bit tricky. Seeing as they frown upon kids touching all the equipment and stuff and how I would probably (definitely) need to restrain two whilst the other one is being examined.

Did I mention the SIX FORMS?

And so it goes on.

After Beaver had told the dentist we don’t clean our teeth in the morning (traitor) and that I eat loads of chocolate, we drove home.

Someone bickered. Someone cried. I turned up the radio and thought about the open bottle of Prosecco in the fridge.

When we got in, I realised it was hair wash night. I can’t miss hair wash night, sadly, because nits ADORE my kids and they seem to be constantly rife in our school.

So I washed and combed all three kids. Someone poohed in the bath. Someone spilt their milk. Someone refused to do what I asked.

And I poured myself a pint of Prosecco.

And didn’t give a s*** that it’s only Wednesday.

Superheroes.

Anyway, my point is this.

Us parents are flipping heroes. I’m sorry to blow our own trumpets but we blooming well are. And I think we need to remember this. We are under such extreme, constant, unpredictable pressure and we hardly ever tell ourselves we’re doing a good job.

We only criticise ourselves. For shouting at our kids. For not being more patient. For drinking too much. For not eating the right stuff. For not spending enough quality time with our kids (even though our kids were being a bit vile). For being on our phones. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.

Well, do you know what? The guilt? The ‘I should do better‘ mantra? It ends HERE.

Because actually? We’re not Superheroes at all.

We’re just human beings. With flaws and needs.

And an awful lot on our plates.

Sorry for the waffle. But I’ve really felt this today. For all of us. If you’re feeling bad after a full-on day of parenting, write down EVERYTHING you’ve done. I bet when you reflect, you’ll cut yourself some slack. Like/comment/share and do join the Facebook community, if you haven’t already.

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    6 thoughts on “Being a parent is insane

    1. Suzanne

      Oh how I can relate to this totally unorganised person who used to be a PA – that’s me too!!! And I know my reason is because I stay up too late and because I crave communication from adults so spend too long on Facebook. Anyway, my point is – you’re so right. Who cares? We are doing amazing well and if you can stay Prossecco-free two nights a week then you’re a hero 🙂

      Reply
    2. Amanda

      As a new mom to two (14month old and 1.5month old), I am too learning this! how do we accomplish everything between children, work, and house chores, not to mention our husbands! I haven’t yet returned to work- early intervention speech therapist- but I am so nervous for when I do because of schedule and routine changes! Thank for writing this. Who can’t relate?

      Reply
    3. Johanna

      hey just curious if you missed some of the Dentist apts. Yes I agree w all you’ve said. (like the other day no we can’t have Dentist apt on a Saturday) …..(but why said receptionist….cause she’s w her dad)
      Why can’t Dad take a child to the Dentist?!

      So I think you’re spot on! & yes you have two days to yourself (Mon & Tue when baby in nursery)…..
      but so do most parents to have a manicure, go to Tesco….. Xx

      Reply
    4. Christina

      After a tiring day of looking after my 6 month old, full grocery shop and not to mention everything else I’ve done. My dd decided to do a poo explosion. Anyway she is nice and clean now but her baby grow is covered from top to bottom. I’m so tired I just can’t face scrubbing poo from another item of clothing and I just want my dinner. My partner won’t let me throw it away and said it’s not hard to do. So I’ve placed it, in a bag in front of him and said well you can do it I’m putting my feet up ? Needless to say it won’t get done. I’m trying not to feel guilty about throwing clothes away but I just can’t face scrubbing poo AGAIN! ?

      Reply
      1. Ags

        Haha, Christina! I’ve done it a few times actually. Gosh, another bloody onesie is smelly and you just can’t be bothered! Similar to you, it happened in the most desirable moment or whilst out.. You just do what you gotta do! and yes, convincing then men to so the smelly job (over and over..) is like pulling teeth! Good luck! My daughter is now almost 2 and we’re out of the smelly milky poos, but there are other ‘joys’ 😉

        Reply
    5. Ags

      Love this and how honest you are! I am with you on the wine front and yes, screw it if it’s Wednesday and you just need some %% to get you through the rest of the week! I try to get up and do stuff before my toddler is up but she’s been so inconsistent that I just give up sometimes! The worst nightmare that hits me over and over again is that Friday feeling… You kind of still believe in it for a few moments and waiting for miracles, or whatever. And then you realise that you’re a MUM, so no Fridays for you! All the same really…;)

      Reply

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