The reality of toilet training

By Amy Ransom on August 1, 2016 , 1 Comment

So over a month on from the start of getting Godivy toilet ready for school with Andrex’s ‘Clean Routine’, this is where we are. Basically? We’re using tons of toilet roll. And I’m STILL wiping her bottom. But my oh my, are we having a lot of fun in the process. (Looks for sarcasm emoji.). This post was written in partnership with Andrex®.

She’s a clean machine.

Godivy’s trying, she really is.

And we’ve had a couple of successes. But she’s just not confident enough yet and I need to work on that with her. Actually, I’m not so sure it is lack of confidence, mainly that she still prefers me to do it. And I think a lot of that comes down to the fact that she is very particular about being clean. Clean hands. Clean clothes. Clean bottom.

But I’m thinking that’s a good thing, right?

In the scheme of things.

‘One wipe forward, two wipes back.’

The thing is, it’s actually really hard to describe to someone how to wipe their bottom.

OK, so you say ‘front to back’ and that’s pretty straightforward. But how do you tackle the, ‘erm, you seem to have wiped it up the whole of your back’ bit?

I wasn’t having much luck, so I asked her sister to explain it to her. No idea why. I just thought maybe she would have a child’s take on it, having learned to wipe her bottom more recently than me.

That went well. Beaver just ended up wiping it for her.

Which kind of defeated the whole point. As this has only served to reinforce Godivy’s conviction that Beaver is going to wipe her bottom for her, every day at school.

Back to square one we go.

Toddler + potty + toilet seat = send gin.

Still. It hasn’t been all losses.

Because one of the consequences I hadn’t predicted, was the two year old toddler trying to get in on the act. He’s obviously been watching us closely. Too closely.

Yes. The other Friday, at about 4.00 PM, he decided he was done with nappies. Just like that. Marvellous, I thought. Let’s get started! I mean, show me a person who wouldn’t want to start toilet training on a FRIDAY NIGHT AT GIN ‘O’ CLOCK.

I tried to persuade him to wait until another day (or preferably another 365 days when I might be ready to tackle this). He shouted ‘NO!’ So, I tried to bribe him. He shouted ‘NO!’ And instead marched up and down the stairs chanting, ‘Pottee’ for about an hour. In between the marching and chanting, he did some REALLY fun stuff like weeing on the floor, trying to put the Peppa Pig toilet seat ON TOP of the potty and then sitting on it. Like he was sodding King Thistle from Ben and Holly (the bane of my life).

In the end we reached a compromise. He was allowed to wear his wellies and sit naked on the front steps and wait for Daddy to come home.

So Daddy could deal with him.


Gin to win?

So there you have it. The school countdown continues but we WILL get there.

And failing that, as one reader suggested, ‘Can’t the teacher just help her?’

I don’t know the answer to that. But I’m thinking if they do, I’m going to have to get them a REALLY good Christmas present, just to say thank you.

A litre of gin should do it, right?

(If I don’t drink it first.)

If you’re also on the countdown to starting school, Andrex have a really good ‘Countdown Chart’ with the essentials from meeting the teacher to getting school uniform to good toilet hygiene. As one school reinforced, ‘Don’t worry about teaching your child numbers or reading or writing before they start school. Just please help your child be as toilet ready as possible.’ We hear you! More of my parenting posts over on Facebook and Instagram.

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    One thought on “The reality of toilet training

    1. Liz

      Ah the pressure of school countdown. They smell your fear, so you try to remain positive with a sing -song voice “never mind just a little accident” until you finally lose your shit and yell “just wee and poo in the toilet, for Christ’s sake!!!”


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