The alternative summer holiday guide

Because you can’t spend money ALL of the time entertaining your kids this summer, here’s some stuff you can do for free. Without even leaving the house. And we’ve road tested it for you. Because we’re nice like that.

1. Arts and crafts. Regular readers of my blog will know that I HATE doing crafts. Well, today my kids wanted to do either painting or soft play. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. As much as I loathe the mess of painting, I think I loathe soft play more. And painting doesn’t cost a fiver PLUS parking. We spent a good hour doing this. Actually, I’m lying. It wasn’t good at all. The kids decided to paint their arms and hands and all we created was this. image1Which reminds me, I must call that psychiatrist.

2. Cake decoration. I use the words ‘cake’ and ‘decoration’ loosely. Because we didn’t have any cakes. And we didn’t really do any decorating. Instead The Boy With No Name got hold of a bottle of yellow food colouring and covered himself in it whilst the girls rejoiced at how much he now looks like a minion.

3. Sack races. We had actual sacks but empty pillowcases would work just as well. We did half a sack race before the girls decided it was much more fun putting them over their heads and jumping each other. Who was it who said girls sit around nicely, colouring?

4. Bickering. All you need for this is two siblings who aren’t usually around each other that much and hey presto! You can spend hours refereeing this game. (And you probably will.)

5. Chase The Baby. If you don’t have a baby, it’s almost worth having one just to play this. Or you’re welcome to borrow mine. Basically you don’t have any stair gates or baby proofing and you chase the baby. Up the stairs. Away from the freezer. And the cupboard with the food colouring in. Or not. The advanced version of this game is failing to supervise two other wayward kids at the same time.

6. Culture. I mean Netflix. Obviously. Because we never watch TV in our house, when it is on, it’s a real treat for the kids (laughs at her own joke). If you’re really on the ball, you can con them into watching a Channel Five movie by bribing them with hot chocolates and biscuits. Did I say bribing? I meant incentivising.

7. Doctors and Nurses. I got to be the patient. Whilst Godivy hit me over the head with various objects. It’s ok though, because she warned me first, ‘This is going to hurt.‘ The NHS will be lucky, lucky, lucky if Godivy chooses to pursue a career in nursing.

8. Sweep The Floor. Self-explanatory. Basically, how many times can you sweep the floor? Can you top yesterday’s effort? Can you achieve a new personal best? Keep a chart for the whole summer and then you can see just how far you’ve come.

So that’s it. How to entertain your kids at home in 8 easy steps. Tomorrow? We’re going out. For obvious reasons. Like and share this post with other savvy, frugal parents. And join Surviving Life and Motherhood for more of the same.

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