‘I can see God’

Talking to your 4 year old about death.  The conversation we have been looking forward to. It went something like this.

‘When you die you never get up again.’

So, yesterday, we had the ‘death’ talk with Beaver.  I think.

This has been a long time coming.  And one we’ve been looking forward to obviously.  As the Birds and Bees talk went so well.

Friends of ours had it long ago.  Some of their children have been very worried about what happens when they die.  About what happens when their Mummy and Daddy die.

But not Beaver.

The only reference she’s made to it so far was watching a slapstick Santa film at Christmas where Santa got run over and Beaver said very matter of factly, ‘When you die you never get up again.  And that is really sad.’

And that was the end of that.

The conversation. Part I.

But Beaver goes to a church school and so heaven is all around her.  And now she has questions. We were driving home from friends when most of these questions came to mind.

‘I can see God,’ she said somewhere along the M2.


‘When you go to heaven, do you come back down?’

‘No, it doesn’t quite work like that,’ we said.  ‘You stay there and live forever.’

‘Oh.  Can I take my Zebber?’

‘Yes, of course.’

‘But I won’t be able to hold him when I’m dead, so how will that work?’

‘I’ll hold him,’ Godivy piped up.

‘And I don’t really want to leave my bed,’ said Beaver.  ‘I really like my bed.’

The conversation. Part II.

We then explained to Beaver that she wouldn’t be dying anytime soon.  So she probably wouldn’t need Zebber and she’d definitely have outgrown her bed.

‘When will I die then?’

‘In about a hundred thousand years,’ I said.

‘Well, not quite that long,’ said Daddy Pig.  ‘More like one hundred.’

Consistent parenting, as always.

‘Will I see you in heaven?’ Beaver asked.

Finally.  Some recognition.  Even if we do come way down the line after a stuffed toy Zebra and a bed.

‘Yes, we’ll all be together.  Mummy and Daddy will be waiting for you.  Although Daddy will probably be there first because he works much harder than Mummy,’ said Daddy Pig.

‘Yes, Mummy will probably live forever,’ said Beaver.

‘Daddy definitely won’t,’ I said under my breath.

‘Can we have a midnight feast when we get in?’

And that was the end of that.

No drama.

I’m still not sure if this counts as THE talk.  There wasn’t any drama.  Any real worry.  Any sense of impending doom.  I’m pretty sure that’s because we handled it terribly.  Flippantly.  Perhaps the sense of impending doom is yet to come.

But even if it does, I’m obviously glad that Beaver isn’t worried about dying.  About us dying.  I’m glad that, for the timebeing, it’s confined to superficialities like Zebber and her bed.

No, really.

Have you had THE talk?  How did you handle it (better than this)?  Share your thoughts below.  Pop over to Surviving Life and Motherhood and tell me more… not that I need all the help I can get or anything.

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